Its been a long long time….


Its been almost a year since I last posted anything. The reasons were many but the prime was losing my one and only Romeo to a sudden bout of bloating. The next few weeks just passed in a blur for all of us. Me rushing back from Spain to catch that one and only seat, just to make sure Im there to say a final good bye to my boy. But more than that to be able to think, talk and more write about him without breaking down.

Nope I still cant, but atleast now I get a nice warm fuzzy, that same Romeo feeling I always got when he was around compared to the distraught one I always carried with me.

I wont get into the details of what happened and why and why so sudden but these days leaving the fur kids behind and going out leaves us with a lot of anxiety.

Round 2: Pls welcome Luke Skywalker!

In the middle of December night when people were ready to welcome the year and I for a newIMG-20151229-WA0001 product launch; as I was getting ready to shut shop at work, i get a call from a dear friend. A dog has been tied for last 2 nights to a condo and is being looked after by the kids of the condo. Since he doesn’t have a house to go and its winters night, he has now developed fever and is refusing to eat. Suddenly, as if in a trance I land myself there and get him home after a lot of skirmish with the guards who now think they are giving a male pure breed without any money. Just 30 min back they didn’t care. Anyways, Luke Skywalker comes home to his sister Princess Leaia.

Husband man has no idea of the surprise that awaits him. He opens the door and sees this big massive 35KG dog with me. He, Aaleiya and Leaia are stumped. They knew Im upto something but this big was the last thing they expected.

The next few days/weeks went in futile attempt to tell Luke that Leaia is his sister. However, the speed at which he made place in all our hearts after Romeo left is amazing. Now its been almost 6 months and he is 5 KGs less thanks to husband man effectively walking him and tiring him out. But more important, he is creating a new space for himself. A space that’s not anyone else’ but his own private in all our hearts.

His sanctum sanctorum is Husband Man while Leaia has slowly moved to being a mammas girl. Till about 3-4 months, he used to wait around 2100 hrs at the door everyday as if waiting for someone to come and take him…but now he has accepted that whoever he is waiting for, doesn’t really wait for him anymore. So now he just sleeps and doesn’t even wake up otherwise. OWP_20160101_09_35_24_Rich_LI.jpgne of the laziest boys I’ve come across but becomes a different dog once he is out in the open. While our days are getting more interesting and Luke has now realized that the only relationship he will ever have with Leaia is that of a brother….we all miss Romeo still.

As Aaleiya puts it eloquently, she has two brothers and one sister. One of her brother just happens to be in the sky and watches over her always. While Leaia has no time to miss Romeo as theres hardly any moment that she gets rest, Luke ensures that she is either getting bullied by him or he pretends and challenges her to bully him!

So more will come now…Romeo continues to live with us. We still take his name in present tense but just the way the queen is dead and long live the queen….Romeo will continue to rule our hearts forever.Poster-Romeo1

 

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A Piku here and a Mou there!


Piku2MouI recently saw the Indian movie Piku. The reason d’etre for checking it out were the following:

  1. Amitabh Bachchan
  2. Great reviews
  3. Most important of all, a Bengali mileu

I wasn’t disappointed on any of the above account. Possible Big B could have been less desperate but then who is complaining when its Big B!

A good story is one, when you start fretting at the interval that only few more hours are left for the movie. This is what happened with me when I saw the movie. The characters were engrossing, intimate, you enjoyed their journey more than probably they did (after all they were carrying a mobile toilet seat with them).

The entire movie felt like my life and my relationship with my grandpa aka Nanu. He is one of the most cantankerous men Ive come across. Always with a foul (OK most of the time) mouth, has an opinion on everyone, expects a lot from everyone and in return gives also a lot. Everyone including their dogs are scared of him, now Im not sure if they are scared of him or his anger or they simply they respect his age. Whatever, be their reasons, Nanu in any marriage  or occasion would be called with lot of trepidations thinking its a matter of time he will break all hell onto others. My grandma was the calming force but no one dared to stop him. Till…I grew up. Then something happened. I was one of the very few people he would listen to, understand and continue to expect the most and give the most to.

He ruled the family with an iron fist when he was young and continues to do so today at 90+ (he claims he is 98). He has threatened to die couple of times, called doctors at odd hours, clicked family portraits, got himself admitted and so on.

Theres a scene in the movie where Big B is measuring temperature by the hours. Nanu does even better. He measure temperature, BP and motion (or the lack of it) by the hours. And god forbid, if things don’t go as planned or deviate, then the best doctor has to be called at a moments notice. Else the loop of photographs, writing a will and so on starts.

Cut to the movie. Big B is fabulous in his avatar as an old, cantankerous Bengali man. He has done the Bengali accent a tad too much. The mannerisms could have been better and appropriate. Deepika on the other hand has aced it gracefully. He slight CR Park Bengali twang while speaking hindi is delightful. Irrfan doesn’t have any characterization per se but he has played the part effortlessly. Jishhu Sengupta is a great support but his character could have been etched better. No one kinda bothered about him and though he was giving Deepika what she “needed” but the audience wanted her romance with Irrfan to flourish. Weird eh? Me rooting for the under dog I guess :)

All other relatives including the Maashi were reflective of a typical Bengali family and no I wont draw any parallels with them…Ill have to write a Mahabharat then. Lets stick to Nanu and I for this one.

The dialogues are the hero of the movie. The scene where a totally disgusted Khan tells Big B: Aapko koi nahin samajhta (No one understands you) is a such a universal line that every palm reader can say as the opening line. Here comes my husband, Mr. P who actually introduced me to this wonderful, all time favourite line to draw a hmmmm from the audience.

The conversations on the dining table are typical of any normal family dysfunctional or otherwise. Asking the girls of the family of their sex lives could be an overkill though.

It is a fact though that most of the Bengali either suffer from too much or motion or the complete lack of it. Isabgol and Enterquinol are two meds that you will find in almost every Bengali home (together with Boroline, Benadryl, Amrutanjan and Crocin).

I love the portion where Big B is the biggest feminist of all. The dialogue on Sexually and Financially independent in my mind was a stretch (for a father to say about his daughter), however, the fact that he wants the women of the family to be independent and not spend their lives for others. Nanu is weird when comes to this. When it came to my grandma, mom and other women in the house, he was a typical patriarch and the women of the house should stay within the boundaries but for some reasons best known to him, he made me independent from the word go. At an age of 13-15 I was made to travel alone in the Indian trains, do the bills, no less than coming top of the class, cooking, singing, running…name it. While my other cousins, enjoyed a protected life with their parents, he egged me on to be on my own. Its helped me to be where Im today. I do miss not being chaperoned around. Sexual independence of any kind is a very bad word for my Nanu. In one of the instances, I had a guy coming over to my house to discuss a project, the entire time he sat with us watching us over. So one can imagine….

The movie, ended a bit abruptly for me. Somewhere, I felt something missing. You wanted the movie to continue. Hoping theres some future to Deepika and Khan or Jisshu to get over his constipation but alas.

Go watch the movie for the dialogues, beautiful nuances, maach bhaja and homeopathy medicine box.

I will ensure my daughter gets a taste of a medicine called Nanu dadu as she calls him. His next venture is to turn my daughter into a much better version of me. Im not sure if he will succeed. He is 90+, he has a will and I trust him to do what he wants. Im not sure if my lil one has the gumption and the attitude to take it all in and enjoy the roller coaster of a ride.

This is not so much a review of Piku but an ode to my Nanu for making me the person Iam and damn it man it doesn’t matter you hate him and waiting for him to give up on life…the man doesn’t give up on life or his wheelchair or his toilet seat!

NanuandI

 

 

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Coming soon….


The site getting revamped and reworked upon….posts coming soon!

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Om NaMo NaMo NaMo….!


Hubby and I have a longstanding debate on who is lesser evil or which crime is less evil? Before you wonder what we are talking about, its good old Indian politics.

Anyone who is Indian, whether in India or abroad would have heard of these names: Narendra Modi and Sharad Pawar.Narendra Modi

The debate between us is should NaMo be even given a thought as the PM candidate?

My response has been an emphatic NO. For a simple reason that he owns the moral responsibility for the Godhra carnage. Under his Chief Minister ship thousands of Muslims perished. He has no moral standing to even go for the role of the head of a country. All of us are reading the platitudes that are being written  about him- he is a great leader, a doer, someone who can take charge and make things happen and so on. And how the existing Govt is a bunch of imbeciles and corrupt and basically full of people who have ruined the country.

Im either praising the current Govt for their inaction nor Im saying that NaMo is nothing but evil. But yes; my conscience does not allow to vote for someone who is symbolic of partition politics, lie, autocracy and basically murders that happened in public view.

Sharad Pawar

Hubby, comes back with the retort. Assume he is responsible for all the killings. But so is Pawar. Under Pawars watchful eyes, thousands of farmers committed suicide. Millions got embezzled. And so on.

Now the Q is which is worse? Or which crime is less heinous? Killing innocent people in the name of religion or letting innocent people commit suicide because they couldn’t pay the debt?

Our debate continues. My personal view is that someone who didn’t give anyone a choice to live and killed them doesn’t have any right to lead the nation. Neither does the person who in his pursuit of wealth killed (indirectly) people. But killing in the name of religion is unpardonable.

NaMos latest claim has been to evacuate thousands of Gujaratis from the disastrous floods in Kedarnath. This was the most amazing piece of PR trick I ever saw. We all know the mathematics behind the number and if the reports are to be believed then he evacuated 15000 Gujjus overnight which is an impossible task even for the armed forces. To this hubby says, well even if he helped evacuate even one person atleast he did some thing. Yes that’s not wrong. But that’s not right also!

I decide to evacuate one person but give T&C that he/she has to belong to certain caste, religion and community…then its not really a philanthropy. Its basically factious politics in the name of philanthropy/charity.

We continue to disagree and the house continues to simmer over the dining table. But we both know as Indians we have only three religions: Politics, Cricket and Movies (aka Bollywood). And we are unashamed of being armchair politicians, cricket analysts/commentators and movie critics.

While we continue to debate…you let me know what you think?

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Things I/We can learn from Romeo and Leaia!


Its been quiet a ride with these two furry babies of mine. I learnt so much from both of them…its time I thought I should share it with other. Some musings in no particular order :)

Romeo:

– When the going gets tough, dont sulk, bark the shit out of you….this too shall pass.

– When no one is paying attention to you, demand for it or create the attention (try running with one of your moms favourite shoes!).

– When people leave shed a tear, give them a kiss or two or many…but then move on…play on.

– When theres trouble brewing and if you didn’t cause it…get away. Its non of your business!

– When the wife wants anything, don’t argue give way.

– If life gets boring without walks outside, run in the house, on the bed..basically create a chaos in the house. This will force mom/dad to take you out for a run.

– If you hear happiness coming from a distance (mom or dad), leap, jump, kiss with joy….they will hug you with the same enthusiasm

Leaia

– If your husband doesn’t want to play ball, then take the ball away. He will come right behind you to play.

– Inside the house theres no doubt you’re the boss but outside let him feel important.

– Take care of your Dad. He needs someone always!

– Your lil sister may be more keen to play with Romeo but persist she will give in to your love :)

– If all else fails, ask Mom! She will figure out a treat, walk or a simple run around the park.

– Always be alert and then alert others. No one takes a thing from the house or enters it without your permission.

– Remember, if Romeo is with you, theres nothing to worry. It will be fine in the end. If its not fine then it isn’t the end yet.

 

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Talking about the dolls and the toys…..!


Ive been crying watching the videos of how a 5 yr old girl was violated. I cant even get myself to write what was done to her, you all can read/watch on the wen. I can just pray that the girl pulls thru. Its Deja Vu all over again….!

I have a girl who will soon turn 1 and my heart shudders to think that someone can do such horrific things to a baby.

What stops us to create laws that punish these kind of perverts with the same token. Laws that will get implemented. Laws that are so severe and implemented that people will think twice before doing such heineous acts.

What about the society? Where are the neighbours, schools, police, parents and so on. After the Nirbhaya case, what was done? Did the society take any action? Preventive or otherwise? Did we educate our children? Did we create anything that would prevent this to the best? It all seemed that after Nirbhaya’s case, we all thought that after the protests, coverage et al, it will become OK. We must be dreaming that everything will be OK. Utopian dream I must say!

Our people including politicians did not stop, think and act after the Nirbhaya incident. Protests and coverage happened but nothing after that. Law came in force but implementation did not. One of the accused allegedly commit suicide but others are still there and not punished. Why does it take so long? Why cant we make an example of those who are caught?

My biggest concern is right now, how do I protect my girl? Should I tell her the world isnt a safe place and dont trust anyone? Should I tell her that you cannot be alone anywhere? The fact that she is a girl means she has to watch anyone and everyone who comes near her with skepticism and mis-trust? The toys she will play with will probably have to come from her parents? If someone wants to play with her she has to check with her parents first…what about the innocence of a child? What about the curiosity thats so centric to being a child? What about the smile and laugh and the giggle?

As I write this, she just wakes up next to me and gives me a big smile….probably trying to tell me…Mum, dont worry so much. There is life and there is hope. There is hope that this baby will come out fine. There is a will that we all will make sure every baby stays just fine…

Yes my girl we live in this world… with hope, will and prayers! Amen!

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The dilemma of a Team!


teamAll of us at some point of time have worked in a team. We may have been a part of the team or led a team. Whether in life or at work team is an essential part…even husband and wife are a team.

I was just wondering, if you have all strong people in one team and not so strong in another how does it work? If you mix the two, does the weak one bring the stronger players down or does the strong ones pull up the weak one? How does the dynamic work in most cases? Is there a pattern or a number or a statistics there?

If you have a group of players in a match. There are lets say X number of strong members and Y number of not so strong players (my first Q: Should these Y people be at all in the team?). If X>Y, Im assuming they will cover up for the Ys, but if Y>X, what happens? Do the Xs strive and survive or they start looking for options outside the team? If they continue to lose matches then I guess the Xs will move out…

Lets take another case. Now in this case if the team is a set of mountain climbers? Then by the above rule what happens? Since its a matter of life and death, I believe the Ys will be left behind so as not to endanger the lives of the others (including the Xs).

In case of work same rule applies.

So what are the options for Ys:

  • Become an X
  • Change the team and play the game where he/she is an X

What is easier? Playing on your strengths or working on your weakness? My vote would go to playing on your strengths rather than spending tiem to improve your weakness.

Whats yours?

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